Human Crasher Review

Human Crasher is a game that does very little to introduce itself, but it doesn’t need much of an introduction. Players control an alien space ship, so clearly this means the goal of the game is to abduct as many people as possible. As a one-touch game, Human Crasher is pretty manic and fun, but it unfortunately wears out its welcome a little too quickly.

The one button in Human Crasher controls the space ship’s tractor beam which pulls up anything in its grasp toward the ship’s hatch. Things that can be beamed up include humans, powerups, vehicles, inner tubes, and more. The challenge of the game is to pick up as many people as possible while avoiding damage to the ship by picking up unwieldy or dangerous objects like speed boats or spearmen. Along the way, planes or military vehicles may try to obstruct the ship’s path or otherwise shoot it down, which require a delicate use of the tractor beam to pull the ship out of harm’s way using heavier objects like scooters, cars, etc.

While this is all the crux of playing Human Crasher, players can always return to a loading dock to repair their ship and give it upgrades. As players collect people, they earn cubes that can be used to unlock new ships, make their existing ships more survivable, or even customize their ship with a new paint job. Once upgraded, players can deploy right out into a random one of the game’s four environments to repeat the cycle.

Despite the basic structure of the game seeming rather simplistic, Human Crasher earns a lot of points in its aesthetic and concept departments. Its retro arcade style graphics and music fit with the kind of game it is, while its control scheme and game concepts can really come together and feel like a really tight, arcade experience.

Unfortunately though, the moments where Human Crasher‘s game concepts unite is scattered at best. There are times when playing the game where obstacles become unavoidable, and this happens with alarming frequency. It is as if the game’s enemy, human, and obstacle layouts are all completely random, which makes for plenty of situations where players can’t use the tools that should be given them to advance further on a given run.

This is compounded by the fact that the cubes players can earn in Human Crasher act much like currency in free-to-play games. If a player’s ship gets heavily damaged, they have to wait for repairs to be completed before venturing back out, or they can spend some of their cubes. And, if players run out of cubes, they can pay for more with real money. Also, upgrades seem to be very expensive, making progression in the game feel painfully slow. To be fair, the game allows players to end any individual run at any time and keep their earnings by tapping a button at the left top corner of the screen, but that solution feels like a flimsy fix to a significant problem.

At its best, Human Crasher is a pretty tight and intense arcade game with some cool persistence and upgrade features. At its worst, it feels confusingly unfair and insidious. I would be more divided about the game if the balance of best and worst favored the good end of things, but the game balance just feels completely random. Because of this, I would suggest most players’ avoid Human Crasher.